HomeGalleryPortalFAQSearchMemberlistUsergroupsRegisterLog in

Share | 
 

 City of angels

View previous topic View next topic Go down 
AuthorMessage
Jaska
Senior Member
avatar

Gender : Male
Age : 26
Posts : 435

PostSubject: City of angels   Wed Apr 23, 2008 12:38 pm

no im not undermining VII XD
Ive worked on this story for a while...... the first extract was influenced under music from grandia 2 game... and i have finally cmpleted the first chapter!! yay!

(hopefully the colour isnt too blinding Razz)

Quote :
Prologue

Cantha. The world I live in and theworld I have grown to love. Went through many hardships not too long ago, and along with the contributions from my companions, I create this tale for all to tread upon.

Cantha is made up of 7 regions, the 1st being Chrona, then Eringhaan, Sirela, and the one I was brought up in - the 4th region of Coswell. Each region was made up of towns, landmarks and their own characteristics, as places go.My story begins in the city of Kensal.

Kensal was your average city. And it was the main city. In the daylight it was always busy with people, flocking through tall buildings of red brick and stone, cries from the odd trader, constant chatter everywhere, and the laughing or crying of the orphan children. Streetrats we called them. Every time you wished to travel the cobbled roads of kensal, always keep a good hold and eye on your belongings – don’t drop guard for a second! That was about the only rule to keep by in the city; it was more or less a very safe place to be…



Quote :
Puddles and dust

“Come on! You’ve chased me for ages!” I yelled.
Faster I go, bouncing and dodging around, brushing past all the bodies of shoppers and travellers. I glance behind and see a small blond bob appearing and calling me to wait, before it dissapears between the crowds again. I carry on sprinting and race around a corner into an alleyway, almost tripping up on an empty crate as I go. This was how spent most of our afternoons.

I was spinning and running at a speed that was out of control. I was flying! I turned another corner into a more open area. Racing through it I still heard my sister calling from behind. I was about to stop but before I could I had belted into a woman at a vegetable stall.

I landed on a reddy brown mush. Suddenly, it spoke “Aye! Get off me!”
“Sister!” I yelped backwards.
“Look where you’re going – I nearly dropped the basket!” she looked up at me, her long red hair slowly revealing her face.
“Sorry… I… um… What are you doing? “I replied.
“Shopping” She pickes herself back up, patting her shirt down. “Mother has -”
“INCOMING!!!” the high screech of Ellen startled us from behind just before smashing into us birdstyle and into a pile on the floor again. The people around us grumbled and moved away.
“Now I have dropped eveything.” Sharrene muttered. Will you two stop being so rowdy here?? There isnt enough space!”
“But it’s a city. Big city!” I cried, helping Ellen up.
“Big and crowded!” She said picking herself from the floor again. “Look if you let me get these home I can take you outside the walls. How bout that?”
A wide smile appeared on Ellen’s face. And mine. “Ah Yaaaay!”
“Ellen, your dress is dirty now” Sharrene sighed. “Anyway, Mother gone to the other city for tonight and I don’t want burnt bread from father either.”
“Oh… well……” Grabbing the basket I run “IT’S MINE!!! Ahahaha!!”
“Rou wait! Stop running off everywhere!” Ellen tucked her dress into her belt and chased me again… ‘She has no hope unless I stop.’ I thought to myself.
Sorting her hair Sharrene yells at us - “YOU’D BETTER BE TAKING THAT TO THE HOUSE!! AND THAT IS INDECENT ELLEN!!! The little scamps…”


We walked along the cobbled path out of the city and over the bridge. Peering over the side I see nothing in the water, a disappointment. I always hoped something would be there. Into the forest of Kensal we strolled. This time Ellen was the one running around in front. I was taking in the sights… The bright green leaves above sheltered us from the blazing sun. The buterflies all around fluttered and danced in and out the low bushes. Ellen started chasing a bright yellow one. I thought that was cute. We came to a clearing where Ellen finally caught it. “Lets have a look Ellen…” Sharrene spoke softly.
Ellen opened her hands and they both peered inside. Suddenly the butterfly shot out and fluttered away. “Hahaha - you must have been suffocating it in there” Sharren smiled. I slumped myself against a tree. Stretching out my arms I let off a yawn.
“Roulette.” Sharrene sighed. “You chase eachother all around town and jump for joy at the mention of coming here, and now you don’t want to do anything!”
“I’m tired now…” I replied closing my eyes. The next thing I knew was something hard pocked at my cheek. I opened my eyes with a jump, quickly glancing around. I noticed the sky was starting to form clouds and the trees started swaying more. But I didn’t mind. Rubbing my cheek I yelled “Hey!”
Ellen and Sharrene just laughed. I looked at them both in turn.
“Better run Ellen.” Sharrene said.
I started chasing the squealing Ellen this time – Sharrene followed slowly, calling us not to go to far.


I heard gallopping in the distance. I stopped and peered around for where the sound was coming from.
Simultaneous to the galloping and the rustling leaves came the sound and materialisation of raindrops. Rain light and hazy at first, but they gradually got heavier and faster. The forest had darkened and everything seemed much busier and rather dreary. I did not like this sign.
Then to the right I could see shadows moving swiftly. In the gaps between the trees I could see dark capes lashing through, Black and silver clothing of sort riding the shape of two dark horses. For a moment I watched in wonder – where did these two people come from? What are they doing here? But for a moment I jolted into reality when I realised they were riding right towards Ellen!
“Ellen! Get back here!” I screamed. She turned around and waved smiling…
Only then sharrene realised what was going on - “Ellen! Get back here now!!” she joined me in the small commotion of grabbing her attention.
“What?” Ellen shouted back, oblivious to the riders still galloping at a high speed.
One more time we screamed her name.
“ELLEN!!!”

The next thing we knew, she was gone.
Vanished in a breath of puddles and dust – just like that.


a couple of the characters... I drew these originally and then started writing an extract and thought, hey! this boy can be the one in my story! and the character development went from there..... any other extracts are on my deviant art labeled 'city of angels (2)'
http://jenova36.deviantart.com/art/Roulette-s-turn-72784373
http://jenova36.deviantart.com/art/oc-characters-1-72783762
Back to top Go down
View user profile http://dark-light.forumotion.co.uk/
Aurora
Senior Member
avatar

Gender : Female
Age : 26
Posts : 340
Location : Weston-super-Mare

PostSubject: Re: City of angels   Thu Apr 24, 2008 1:28 pm

Hey Jaska I really enjoyed that story and I cant wait for the next installment.
Back to top Go down
View user profile
 
City of angels
View previous topic View next topic Back to top 
Page 1 of 1
 Similar topics
-
» frozen milk to donate - Iowa City
» About 300 oz to donate; Near Kansas City
» Thinking of my Angels
» sainteven's new kinda hidden city
» Arrest made in Kirsten Hatfield's abduction from her Midwest City home in 1997 - Midwest City, OK

Permissions in this forum:You cannot reply to topics in this forum
Merry Moot :: Discussion Boards :: Creativity Corner-
Jump to: